I Don’t Know How to Feel Worthy of Love

Understanding my client's beliefs about themselves is a crucial aspect of addressing the root causes of their eating issues. Unfortunately, this important aspect is often overlooked in training. While some approaches focus on simply telling clients that diet culture is harmful and that they should accept their body at its natural weight, this approach may not be effective. This is because it contradicts the deeply held beliefs that clients have about themselves, which serve as emotional protection.

It's important to understand that beliefs are powerful and deeply ingrained in our psyche. These beliefs can come from a range of sources such as societal messages, family, or past experiences. For someone struggling with an eating disorder, these beliefs may include ideas such as "I'm not good enough," "I don't deserve to eat," or "my worth is tied to my weight." These beliefs are often so deeply held that they can feel like the truth, even if they are not based in reality.

Simply trying to change these beliefs by telling clients that they are wrong may not be effective, as it can trigger feelings of shame or resistance. Instead, a more effective approach is to help clients build a stronger internal foundation. This means addressing the underlying emotions and experiences that have contributed to the development of these beliefs in the first place.

One approach to building a stronger internal foundation is to focus on developing interoception. Interoception is the ability to sense and understand the signals that our body is sending us, such as hunger, fullness, or emotional distress. By developing interoception, clients can begin to understand the physical and emotional sensations that underlie their eating behaviors. This understanding can help them to recognize when they are engaging in disordered eating behaviors and to make healthier choices.

Building interoception can be done through a range of techniques, including mindfulness, meditation, and body awareness exercises. These practices help clients to tune into their bodies and to recognize the physical and emotional signals that they are experiencing. By doing so, clients can begin to develop a more compassionate and understanding relationship with their bodies.

Another approach to building a stronger internal foundation is to focus on building self-compassion. Self-compassion is the practice of treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness. For someone struggling with an eating disorder, developing self-compassion can be particularly challenging, as it may go against their deeply held beliefs about themselves.

To build self-compassion, clients can begin by practicing self-talk that is kind and supportive. This may involve acknowledging the challenges that they are facing and reminding themselves that it is okay to make mistakes. Additionally, clients can work on cultivating a sense of gratitude and appreciation for their bodies, recognizing all of the ways that their bodies support them on a daily basis.

Ultimately, addressing the root causes of eating issues requires a multifaceted approach that takes into account the complex interplay of beliefs, emotions, and experiences. By helping clients to build a stronger internal foundation, we can support them in challenging and ultimately replacing the limiting beliefs that have contributed to their eating issues. Through practices such as interoception and self-compassion, clients can develop a more compassionate and understanding relationship with their bodies, paving the way for lasting change and healing.

https://positivepsychology.com/mindful-self-compassion/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-discomfort-zone/202205/self-compassion-therapy-technique-negative-thoughts

https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/07/11/self-compassion-and-childhood-trauma-recovery/

https://www.scirp.org/journal/paperinformation.aspx?paperid=74689